Salvia divinorum session 1: 16 March 2002

Using A's water pipe and standard strength SD. I took about ¾ of a pipeful.

As I sat back I saw green tendrils with red stripes reaching up from the ground towards me. They looked like a huge claw, and though I noted that it could be frightening, it wasn't at all. I felt the same rush of something between heat and energy move up my body as before.

I felt myself resisting the drug, and repeated ‘Just relax, go with it', several times. I heard those in the room talking quietly, laughing occasionally and just breathing. I'm not sure now how much of that was actually going on in the room, as SD does distort sounds, but this made me feel self-conscious and inclined to resist letting myself go with the experience. I knew I would loose my normal self-awareness if I released to the drug, and resisted that.

A name came to me at this quite early stage: ‘Musk-ral-ah-drew'. It kept repeating. I wanted to remember the name, and felt my conscious self resisting because it that - or it perhaps it was using that as a reason to resist. I asked the others to note the name for me, and I relaxed into the session more.

The tendrils brought me up into a yellow and terracotta space of unknown dimensions.

I think it was at this time (though I'm not certain) that I became the ‘red pepper' again. This time I was upright, and very long. I felt energy rush up from below, and towards my head. I remember wondering, with delight, if I could control this energy. I drew it up though my body and it surged out of my head in a rush. What I have described as green shoots or leaves coming out of my head now became a fountain of energy rushing upwards. It felt great! I felt I could control this energy, and direct it through my body. It came from below, into my lower body (which was carrot shaped and colored), surged though me, and out of my head.

Then I saw a being sitting there waiting. I think he was sitting on a tall green object (like a cactus without spines) but I can't remember clearly. He was the shape of a Mexican hat, with the bottom part (his body) terracotta colour and his head (the dome of the hat shape) was bright yellow. He had a cartoon style face with two eyes and a mouth; I don't recall a nose. The being, who I felt was the spirit of the herb, smiled very kindly and exuded a gentle calm.

I asked who Muskraladrew was. I felt sure it was a name, perhaps of the being or me.

The being played with the name 'Muskraladrew' and 'Adrian' without answering conclusively whose name it was. I think I asked if I was Muskraladrew, and the being teased me in a kindly way.

'Hmmm. MuskraladrewAdrian. Are you Muskraladrew? No, MuskraladrewAdrian....'

I don't think the being is Muskraladrew, though he seemed to imply I might be.

I was still resisting the herb; I kept reaching back towards those in the room, which felt quite far away.

‘Where would they want you to be?' He asked, meaning those in the room.

‘Here' I answered.

‘So, why do you reach back there?' He said.

I explained that I was worried that I would forget the lesson.

‘You won't.' He said simply, smiling.

Then I saw a brown shape, like a human sized leaf, seen from the side. A wind started to blow from the right, and the leaf began to melt, and blow away in the wind, as if it were made of mud. Pieces flew off, and blew away. Then what was left of the whole leaf blew away too.

I asked what it was.

‘That is your old self blowing away,' said the being.

‘Is that my lesson?' I asked.

‘No. This is.' The being answered.

A large flower bud appeared. It had big leaves, tightly closed. It was a dark mauve colour I later described as 'purpley-green'. The bud slowly opened, and inside there was a crustacean or arachnid creature carved from a dark green-brown stone, but alive. It had a rectangular body, with four legs each side and a set of mandibles. It looked familiar, and as I see it in my minds eye I'm sure I have seen it carved somewhere.

I remembered the spirit spider that has been hanging around, and wondered if I should be seeing that. I wasn't, but the thought started to change the creature into a spider. It didn't seem that this was true to the vision, but that I had made this change happen. The creature changed into a half spider, half what it had been, and scurried off.

Having had my lesson - though I didn't understand it - I felt ready to go back to normality, and asked the being if I should go.

He smiled as before with his deep calm, and said there was no need to, as he would fade soon anyway, so I should just relax.

A moment later he began to fade, and I returned to the reality of the room.

I didn't have the laughter this time, though I think I giggled a bit. I felt very chilled and was a bit 'out of it' for a good 30 minutes afterwards.

Afterwards I noted that the colors were all very Colombian (or middle American anyway). I have no idea what the creature in the bud meant or the name. No-one had any suggestions.

I noticed how I resisted the herb, and I think this held me back. Not sure how to avoid this. Guess it's practice and getting more comfortable with the working group.

16 March 2002

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